And Just Like They All Said...

The good news is: My child loves me! The bad news is: I cannot leave his sight! Just as the books, the daycare teachers, my mother, Dr. Spock, and basically the entire child rearing community warned, separation anxiety has begun…

I cannot tell a lie. I have had it relatively easy up until the last month or two. Isaac has been the happiest, most well adjusted, fully sleep scheduled baby I could ask for. Mathew and I would sit and marvel at his angelic demeanor and cherubic smile. A few weeks ago, however, it happened. I left the chubby little cherub with his father to run to the bathroom. No sooner had I rounded the corner than I heard the ear piercing wails and the earth shattering cries of “UMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Again, I cannot tell a lie. It made me feel good to know that someone wanted and needed me and was upset when not graced by my presence. Like all good things, though, the novelty is now gone, and the wails have turned into full fledged Dragon Baby tantrums. The distance that I can safely travel has also changed. Before, I had to be completely out of sight. Now, I can be in the same room, but not holding him in a forward facing position with direct eye contact, and oh the terror!

Interestingly, none of this happens when I leave him at daycare. I can barely give him a kiss goodbye before he is crawling maniacally toward another baby (victim) or toy (soon to be unrecognizable plastic heap). This is a good thing, though, and speaks volumes about the unparalleled quality of the daycare. I really wish that I could spend my days there, and probably couldn’t care less who was leaving me or when they were coming back.

Isaac’s latest developmental milestone has been standing alone! He has been standing holding on to objects and furniture for a few months, but just started letting go last week. There is a collective gasp every time he weebles and wobbles, but luckily God (or Luv’s) was on it when they designed diapers, and the extra booty padding really breaks the fall. I know what comes next and I am in no way prepared for it. I really pushed the crawling and later realized there was no reason for that, so we are taking a very laid back approach to walking. Isaac doesn’t do anything in a lackadaisical manner, so once it’s on, it’s ON. I have begun research on running shoes and plan to begin my endurance training Monday. Someone once asked Sarah Jessica Parker how she stayed so skinny and toned. She swore that the only exercise that she got was taking care of her son. I thought she was a total cracked out liar at the time, but I now see that parenting done right can definitely come with a new set of calf muscles. I am still pretty certain that my abs will never be recovered from the wreckage, but baby chasing does have definite benefits for other, less s-t-r-e-t-c-h-e-d body parts.

Movin' and Shakin'

As promised, it has been approximately 6 months since my one and only update. I’ve decided I really like the novelty of having a blog, but not so much the updating of the blog. I have realized the absurdity of how fast Isaac is growing and changing, though, and I know I need to document regularly so I will have something to tear up over when I am old and in the home. I have already been told that sons do not visit or bring the grandchildren after they put you in the home, so I will need something extra to get me through the Canasta tournaments.

Moon Man has recently acquired mobility. I cannot express how excited we were that first day of crawling…How we cheered him on and took 27, 000 videos of what looks like a very small, very inebriated Frankenstein. Those tiny little arms going all the way up in the air before being brought back down for the next forward progression. That was the first day...There have now been many subsequent days of Olympic speed crawling to the dog food bowls, the one electrical socket with a Plug In instead of a baby proof cover, the choking hazard mini-blind cords of doom, the all glass baker’s rack of certain dismemberment, the tumbleweed of dog fur careening through the house. His mobility is never aimed towards, oh say, a toy…or a soft fluffy baby blanket…or my loving mother’s embrace. In accordance with this exciting new development, Isaac has also re-scheduled his bedtime an hour and a half later, so as not to miss any possible excitement before mommy collapses in a tired, sad heap on the couch. It truly is pure joy to watch him crawl to the dishwasher, pull up, and laugh riotously at the curious baby who always seems to be hanging around in the door, and the oven for that matter! It’s just so exhausting to pull him off the door before it collapses on him and requires first aid intervention.

Isaac has also started saying “dada” and “mama” and seems to attach the correct meaning to them most of the time. Dada is definitely the favored word of the month and is more likely to be used liberally and for a great variety of things. He told a Melville-esque LONG story about “dada” the other day with more inflection and gusto than your average radio announcer. “Mama” is interchanged with “Uma” quite regularly and is usually screamed rather than said. For example, yesterday I was late fixing a bottle and little man was becoming irate at the delay in his afternoon activities of pulling chunks of fur out of Jem and trying to topple the pack and play. He threw himself down in the middle of the kitchen in obvious utter despair and wailed, “UMA!!!! **sob sob sob** UMAMAMAMAMAMAMA!!! **sob sob sob**. Dada is usually used in times of joy or when Uma is not complying with his demands. It is usually accompanied by gales of laughter and a devilish grin. That’s ok, though. I understand. 9 months of growing, nurturing, coffee reducing, alcohol eliminating misery and two hours of pushing really can’t compete with farting noises :-)

Much Ado About Nothing

You know that the house is a hot FEMA mess and the pantry stocked with approximately two items (more than likely sugar free and therefore inedible) when I go and start a blog...I do this every so often in a last dire attempt to avoid doing something less desirable, like grocery shopping. Something has usually happened to the cable as well, and I am undoubtedly so far gone on library fees that it would be more cost effective to pay to publish someone's book than remedy the situation with Jefferson County. Such is the case this time! Charter On Demand has spontaneously just up and quit working, really leaving me in the lurch on 16 and Pregnant. I am now two episodes behind, and cannot even imagine the tragicially immature, irresponsible behavior and baby daddy drama that has unfolded without me. I have also missed Tim Gunn's home visits with the final four on Project Runway, which is wholly unacceptable.

Anyhow, as I'm sure you have realized from the first paragraph and title of this blog, it will more than likely be wild ramblings about nothing, and then cease altogether when we can find a competent Charter Communications customer service representative. If there is content of any consequence, then it will of course be about the fabulous, amazingly advanced baby extraordinaire, Isaac! Aforementioned baby is now awake and extremely ill with his current situation in the swing with waning batteries, so until next time...Whenever that may be!