Bye-Bye Grapes

In the beginning, there were milestones, and those milestones stretched before us in a neat and tidy checklist of What to Expect anticipation. “At five to six weeks your baby may smile!” And so we waited…and analyzed the latest nasal twitch…and then one day, there it was! He smiled! It happened! It’s a baby miracle! I was not aware before having a child that you can watch someone almost roll over for months on end, but you really, really can! Everything feels a little slow motion. In reality, babyhood is clipping by like you’re at the races with the winning horse and then it’s over…but in the moment there’s much waiting and watching.

Enter toddlerhood…I can’t wait on anything and there’s nothing to watch for because it’s all happening rightthisverymomentallatthesametime! I can’t keep up! That adorable thing that he did where he responded “KAYYYYYY” to everything you said? It was cute and now it’s over! What was that thing that I meant to write down the other day that made me laugh until I was gasping? I don’t know, because 12,000 things have happened since then! I’m always searching frantically for the video camera only to just miss that one thing he did that needed to be recorded for all posterity. What if I forget about “dance party!?” How he says “ohhhh daddy” like a little british hobbit when Mathew tickles him. The way he mimics that thing Elmo does with his arms before he asks a question. How about the way I heard that tiny little voice say "love you" after I turned out the light and closed the door last night? What about the way he greets and says bye-bye to all of the food items in the grocery store? “Bye-bye grapes!”

I guess those things that slip away so fast are always replaced by something else that is amazing in that moment…I just wish that you could hoard everything from this moment too. Would there be something sooo wrong with an 18 year old that says a cheery farewell to the produce? It’s bittersweet, this parenting…

"It's Broke"

An exchange between me and Isaac, in the car, during our journey through Mordor (or from Hoover to Gardendale if you want to be more geographically correct and less dramatic):

Me (in aside to myself): I knew that I should not have given you that tiny package of graham crackers that you spied with your laser cat eyes. See…now you have consumed the entire graham cracker ration, just as I feared, and are screaming for more. I don’t have more “cackers” nor any of the “Water! Water!” that you are trying to convince me is needed to avoid some sort of cracker induced medical crisis.

Isaac: CACKER!!!!!! WATER!!!!!!!!!! CACKER!!!!!!!! ***kicks seat, flails arms like the wacky inflatable arm flailing man, hurls Monkey and Dog toward the windshield with 90's crash test dummy flair.***

Me: Why don’t we turn the radio off and sing a little song?

Isaac: Glares

Me (in my customary well-meaning yet execrably off-key rendering): Can you tell me how to get…how to get to SESAME STREET?! Sunny Days…chasing the… clouds away…

Isaac (in perfect deadpan, pointing to the radio): It’s broke.

Me: (Turns radio back on)

Mommy Dearest

I wrote this post on May 16 and OOPS! forgot to post it, so it is woefully out of date...It doesn't matter in the least since this blog is solely for me and my one other reader, but I just wanted it noted for the record...

Something happened in the past week that I clearly see as the end for me. Isaac transitioned from saying mama to mommy. There have always been a few things that have reliably saved him from certain and swift discipline. The first, is when his hair is sticking straight up in seven different directions. I cannot look at that ridiculous, Edward Scissorhands hairdo and come down on him with the stern hand of judgment. I just can’t. The second, is his too darn cute impish “I know that I’m bad, but I know that I’m cuter” grin. Ok, you got me. This, though, is more than my doughy mommy heart can overcome. Who knew that changing one syllable in a word could have such an effect? Mama was of course, still sweet, and always welcome in dialogue, but there was one caveat. Isaac’s verbal interpretation of the word mine came out sounding just like mama, and so for about one week I thought the sweet boy was saying, “mama, mama, mama” and he was actually exhibiting bratty possessiveness over the stray banana on the table, any toy belonging to any person, and more broadly speaking, anything in his direct line of vision. The recent switch to mommy, however, can so far not be confused with any other word and has been accompanied by pointing directly at me and gazing into my eyes. It.Is.The.End.

In other news, it has been quite some time since I have undertaken this with any zest, and will probably be some time yet before I try it again, so here’s a quick rundown of the past year. Walking – check! Running – check! Chasing the dogs full tilt with maniacal laughter and squeals of delight – check! One set of extremely disgruntled dogs – check! Dancing, high fives, low fives, clapping, stomping, talking, animal noises, and recognition of all body parts sans elbows – check! He loves to roar like a dinosaur and say “CAAAA-DOOO” for a rooster. His new favorite obsession is blowing “bumbles”. He loves the plastic container that the bumbles come in, the bumble wand, and the actual bumbles. He loves to pop the bumbles and drink the bumbles. His other favorite activity is by far reading, and he will sit and “read” to himself now if we are otherwise occupied.

Also, Isaac is in a long-running relationship with one of his classmates at daycare. It was love at first swapped paci and has now progressed to a level of seriousness we are not quite prepared for. The teachers alerted me to a certain nap time situation. Apparently, the girlfriend was coming over to Isaac’s cot and he was lifting his nap mat cover so that she could climb in with him. Really?! Luckily, she is a charming girl and I wholeheartedly approve, but I’m going to need for them to slow down to a respectable level of toddler appropriateness. There was also a story circulating that after seeing her shoe get stolen by a fellow classmate, Isaac ran over, tackled the classmate, and retrieved the shoe for his love. He’s nothing if not chivalrous!